Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Expert Family Legal Agent Advice

As some know, I've been going through hell right now due to domestic issues- specifically, my soon to be ex wife filing a bogus restraining order against me, as she claimed I violently abused her one night in August of last year. Since then, I've lost everything, and I am homeless.

I have not seen my 12 year old daughter since this event occured. The pain of this particular cave in my abyss is rather painful.

There are those on various social and professional websites who never met me, yet are clearly aware of my pain. Carey Stronach is one of them. He reached out to me recently to offer a friend of his, who clearly is an excellent legal agent.

This is character. This is what we do when no one is looking. This is how we act without the slightest possibility of receiving something in return. Thank you Carey. And I thank your friend who wrote the following to me regarding my ordeal with a false restraining order issued against me by my former spouse, and my incarceration that followed:


Dear Dan,

My heart goes out to you. Unfortunately, it is the same story I hear a hundred times a year -- but the names are different. Your specifics certainly sound as though your ex was "trained" on how to use (actually "abuse") the system. Why settle for half in a divorce when you can get it all and not even have to go through a divorce trial?

There has been a disturbing change over the past 30 years in the US, and the world, for that matter -- whereby "the rule of law" and the sanctity of family has given way to new social engineering schemes, unintended consequences of good intentions, deluded political ideology and sometimes outright vicious selfishness.

Over the years, the latter have manipulated themselves into the system, garnering $100K-$250K per year each in taxpayer funded salaries and increased their numbers by the thousands, with like-minded individuals whose sole purpose is to protect and increase their salaries by wildly exaggerating a minuscule problem and tweaking the laws to eviscerate the Constitution and bankrupt men to keep them from mounting adequate legal defense.

Part of the scheme is to paint you as unstable, dangerous and to emotionally and financially devastate you so that their false allegations appear to be true. It is hard to appear sane and rational when the full weight of the government and free lawyers with unlimited taxpayer funds allocate every single resource to terminate your natural and Constitutionally protected rights.

Sadly, the evolution of this travesty has included "federal incentives" to the States to comply and aggressively pursue this unconscionable course of action. The family destruction machine that now exists is practically unbeatable unless you have substantial financial resources and even then, success is not always certain. Even if you are successful, the damage done to the child(ren) is irreversible.

Without funds, you will be forced to compromise yourself and admit to falsehoods merely so you can be allowed to be a "visitor" in your child's life and in so doing, become an indentured servant to the very machine that destroyed your, and your child's life.

My advice to you is to bail. Get out of the jurisdiction. Get out of the country before they revoke your ability to flee their slavery and cancel your passport. They already have you and there is no winning and there is no escape.

This is not "abandoning your daughter." This is the only thing you can do to save your relationship with your daughter and preserve any assets that you might be able to assist her with in the future.

Child support is the only form of transfer of funds to a fiduciary, trustee or guardian where there is no requirement that the funds be spent for their intended purpose, no accountability, no penalty for misuse and no penalty for the outright theft of the funds.

The woman that you will have to pay has already demonstrated that she does not have one ounce of comprehension or care for "the best interests of the child." Why on earth would you assume that she would suddenly start caring with regard to money you send for the child?

She won't. This is not to mention all the other expenses you will incur attending anger management classes, probably substance abuse classes, probation fees, court costs, etc. Thousands of leeches depend upon your family's destruction for their livelihood.

If you extricate yourself from the situation and get out of the jurisdiction, you can save money for your daughter and her needs. It is the only way you can be assured that the money will go to her instead of lawyers, social workers and the ex.

You already know that she will not stop dragging you through the system until you are obliterated. You have to get out. One example is Mexico, where I live. The cost of living is low, technology is high and they can't touch you here.

My standard of living is substantially higher than in the US, but at a fraction of the cost. And, my weather is the best in the world.

Now, the good news. Kids are smart. They see what is going on around them and have an inherent sense of right and wrong. Your daughter will one day see the vicious nature of what her mother did -- all on her own.

She will figure it out. Make sure you never point it out. She will figure it out. Women know how other women are. You need to only point to the system and how they make mistakes and that you wanted to protect her and her assets from the system -- not her mother.

Kids always think they are half mom and half dad. If one of the parents hates the other parent, the kid thinks that parent half of them. Always blame the system, not the other parent.

I speak from over 20 years experience in this field. I cry and grieve that our country has become so funding focused that they capitulated to such wrong-headed and harmful practices and procedures -- and everyone in the system is dependent upon the furtherance of this travesty -- that I can barely sleep at night.

Sun Tsu talks about the inherent cost in waging war, the futility of fighting a long war, and how war impoverishes the state. At any rate, Sun Tzu's point was that in any conflict, our objective should be victory, not long campaigns. I believe that this is a valuable lesson of general application in life and applicable here.

Stuart

P.S. There will NEVER be any hope of reconciliation with your wife. Women make up their minds and decide that there is no turning back before they make the move. Any hint of a possibility of reconciliation is a ploy to entrap you.

I cannot emphasize the truth of this enough. 100% of reconciliations that I have seen have been legal ploys and several ending up with the husbands going to prison for marital rape. Anyone who would do this to a child has no moral compass anymore. Yes, at one time might have had a moral compass, but has stepped over the line and the point of no return.

I know what you are going through hurts more than anything you could ever have imagined. The way you get over it is to win. The way you set things right is by succeeding and it destroys her entire plan and saves your daughter. Even if revenge is not a consideration (it never should be) the taste is still sweet.

You end up with a family. She ends up all alone in nursing home with nobody who cares. All that she will have to look forward to is crying and weeping and gnashing of teeth -- at the mercy of government nursing home employees who can't be fired -- and nobody to protect her because she drove the natural protector of the family away.

This was her choice, not yours. Now, you have a duty to yourself and to your daughter. Go do it and be there for her when the time comes. She's going to need you when she gets older. You are the only parent who can and will be there for her.


Stuart Miller is nationally recognized as an expert in domestic policy as it pertains to the family.

He is frequently called upon to testify before Congress, state legislatures, committees and regulatory groups.

In addition to drafting legislation for Virginia and Texas lawmakers, he has drafted amendments to the 1994 omnibus crime bill on family violence and has co-authored the proposed by Pepresentative Randy Forbes.

Mr. Miller has engaged in top level policy development with the White House Domestic Policy Counsel, the Welfare Reform Task Force and the Administration for Children & Families Office of Child Support Enforcement.

Mr. Miller also writes for the Wall Street Journal, Chicago Tribune, San Francisco Chronicle, Playboy and is under a blanket freelance agreement with the Washington Times. He is the former host of a nationally broadcast radio show on 450 radio stations throughout the country.

Mr. Miller is Senior Legislative Analyst for the American Fathers Coalition, a national coalition of 250+ fathers rights groups in the United States. AFC's primary constituency is comprised of responsible fathers who want to participate in their children's lives emotionally, physically and financially.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is so odd to me that someone of such reknown would dispense advice to you on the assumption that you (Dan) are telling the truth regarding your family.

How does he know your story is the truth? He does not have the facts. I would certainly not rely on your hearsay.

It seems to me that people will tell you what you want to hear when you make sure to tell them a story that lends itself to that advice.

Maybe you should try being honest with yourself and everyone else so that you can truly move on and make the impactful changes in your life you need.

Anonymous said...

Dan,

It's Julian. I don't have the ability to post with my identity.
Whoever anonymous is is either your ex wife, a member of the she-man man haters club, or one of "them".

They would all love for us to believe that you are in the wrong, that you are the troublemaker.

They don't want anyone to know how truly corrupt and morally bankrupt our "system" is.

Only someone who has walked even a quarter mile in our shoes could know the pain and suffering and destruction this "system" brings forth, all with impunity.

Maybe the douchebag who wrote it should marry a cunt like our exes and be victimized. Maybe then they will have something intelligent to add.

Justice is coming !

Anonymous said...

Deanna Overmiller Dunlop:

I just read it and Stuart Miller has my respect for being brutally honest. He is so right on so many levels. And that "anonymous" comment...what a jack ass =)

Anonymous said...

Stuart Miller....BRAVO an Honest lawyer with Integrity OMG, I'm ready to hang the entire profession and then I find you. lol

Stuart, the problem IS your profession has infiltrated the Congress on the Federal and state gov't levels...not to mention the Executive branch. The Judicial system is not only PERMEATED in corruption..the trappings of law and governance affords the gov't: Whichever Party is in control..to do whatever they want to whomever they want...retaliate against a citzen, bankrupt a business: pay to play is the game today and DEEP POCKETS

Dina Kucera said...

Dan... Let me be the 'devils advocate'. You know from my writings, this type of situation is right up my alley, sad to say. Let's say the 'abuse event' took place. Not to the extent that the X is saying, yet it was more than what you are describing. Play along.... Whatever happened.... you can not keep a fathers child from him. You are hurting that child. Your daughter needs her father. I don't understand why any of this 'event' has anything to do with your child. That's the biggest bullshit part of the whole 'system'. I'm going to pary that you see you daughter soon! The sooner the better!:)

Anonymous said...

Erika Yanez:

Wow. This totally explains the little haters that you get on here sometimes that make antagonistic comments. Well, that's unfortunate guys. I'm sorry. Maybe it's regional. I've been pretty fortunate to work with social workers and agenc...y people that really fight for men that want involvement in their children's lives. It's actually exciting for them because it's rare. It helps if you at least have some contact with the child though. You can't exactly fight to proove your a fit parent if you aren't even allowed to see the child. There must be something that can be done???

Anonymous said...

This is now 2010. Why would anyone especially a lawyer recommend that you flee to Mexico? Have you heard whats been going on down there? There is a bloody drug war engulfing the country, it is not safe to relocate your self down there right now.

Anonymous said...

I am 25 years old and I will never marry a woman from America. I have a friend that was dating a woman that had a daughter. He was with me the whole night. We were hanging out and talking. I saw him sleeping during the night and we went to eat breakfast the next morning. His girlfriend became jealous, and accused him of fingering her daughter that night. She lives over 50 miles away. She was jealous because he chose to be at my house that night. We are not lovers or partners, just straight friends. He is now serving a 20 years prison term for rape. He was never at that house. I was a witness to this. They discounted me because I like to smoke pot, even though that night I didn't. I am also moving to another country. I cannot respect women here in America.

Anonymous said...

Dan,

Stuart's idea about living in Mexico is great! You'll never get ahead here in the U.S. with all that hanging over your head.

Guanajuato is a wonderful town in the larger state of (also called) Guanajuato. It's in central Mexico. Good luck!

http://www.terragalleria.com/north-america/mexico/guanajuato/guanajuato.all.html

Anonymous said...

Listen to him....run far...run fast...my mom told me once "the kids know who's right"...don't loose everything you got...including your ability to be able to earn a paycheck...if you stay here you'll never see another full paycheck again...they are relentless about kicking a man when he's down...you'll stand a better chance of seeing your kids also..cause you got money and obviously she can be bought...good luck in Mexico...i suggest south of cancoon.

Denny said...

Stuart is right. 100% right and that's a sad fact.

The way I see it you have three choices.
1. Follow Stuarts advice and get the hell out of Dodge.
2. Allow the bitch to completely grind you into powder and live out of trash cans the rest of your life.
3. Do what the legal system encourages you to do and kill the bitch. This is what they really want to see happen.

Stuart is also right on the recompense. You won't be there to see it happen but in the end this woman will get hers. Rotting in a nursing home sounds about right.

The more stories I read like yours the better Sharia law looks. Keep your chin up and head for Mexico.

Better days friend, better days.

Anonymous said...

"Douchebags" and "cunts" ?

The abusiveness of your supporters' comments demonstrates to me that the man really was guilty, and belonged in the orange suit. Running away to Mexico to avoid child support seems the proper way to demonstrate 'love' to your daughter ...

I had an order of protection against a female, and it saved my life. Like this miscreant who abused his wife, it riled her so much she habitually broke it, and then threatened me in front of the police. She wears orange, too.

How Rense picked up this sordid trash I'll never know.

Dustin Jones said...

I'm there with you Here in NY .
The system Legally helped my estranged wife kidnap my daughters .
Her mothers best friend is a man hatemonger social worker . She feed the ex every step and held her hand thru each one . Now im to pay for my ex to live . Ridiculous they want me to cover all but the lights and mortgage even all future medical bills for her .. Life insurance and much more . After child support and rent I have 25 Dollars left to live on . Right 25 to pay fuel insurance toals and repars .. O wait I need to eat still..
The system is useless or laws are supposed to be based on justice and balance and in the best interest of the child . Its to bad the best interest of the children is only factored at moms house.
So I fight to learn anything I can to try and defend myself . I was left with nothing She sold what she could and hid the rest .
Now I get to be dragged thru a divorce with her having a high priced lawyer . She killed a woman in a car accident and received a large settlement for it go figure . If it were me I would be siting in prison for vehicular manslaughter. She had no valid license.

Anonymous said...

Men in America have not been provided 'equal protection under the law' for over 100 years. Those that want to marry a 'post modern women' and have children should have his head examined. Women are clearly abusive in all manners of speaking; physical, mental, emotional, financial, and psychological. They are rarely held accountable. Men that want children should stay single, adopt, and find their manhood that women live to grind into dust and humiliate men. It is no small wonder that women choose men these days of similar mental stripe; easily manipulated, they place her on an underserved pedestal, and are told they have 'large sex organs', ad nauseam to keep them in line and their chests pumped out. The truth? These people don't have any use for the truth. They support each others dysfunction; she the perpetual victim, he the perpetually oppressed victim of society (another falsehood). Sounds like a match made in heaven. He can have her. I lived through the system's abuse, but my relationship with my daughter was ruined. The only way a man can win in America is to stay single; becoming a 'second class citizen' in your own home (sanctioned by the state) is for fools and those that believe that 'he is the man that is viewed as different' by these women that have serious issues of entitlement. Running away is no plan as you will never see your daughter again. Fighting the fight is the only thing that will give you some measure of peace in your old age. Men better wake up and start supporting one another; demanding the Feds and the State live up to their Constitutional obligations to men. Until then, we will be at the mercy of the wild eyed, control freak feminista's. Those that post here marginalizing or minimizing this guy's situation are the worst kind of subhuman garbage that ever learned to use a keyboard. The story this guy tells is played out in a million cities in all 50 states every day of every year. The myth continues, men are criminals, women are victims.

linda newkirk said...

Greetings to you, Dear One! I do not know much about your ubringing, but if I remember correctly, you said that you grew up in an abusive household. I supppose that that would be verbal and physicl abuse, which may or may not have come with the use of alcohol or drugs, both on your part and on the parts of your parents. Dear One, if you are to ever be free, you must look with very clear eyes towards your own past and clean out these emotionally charged closets very well. Wherever you go, there you are, as the old saying goes. If any kind of violence, verbal or physical, ever played a part in your marriage, you must really face up to these things and deal with them. Only you can clearly see and know with truth all that has transpired in your marriage. If you flee to Mexico and enter into another relationship, remember that unfinished emotional/spiritual business will always rear its ugly head and all the more quickly if and when any drugs or alcohol are used. If you really love your daughter, just back off, do much soul searching, seek to find a lawyer of some sort, who will be honest and fight for you, and keep on keeping on. Depending on the laws of your state, you may very well be entitled to 50 percent of all that you have aquired since your marriage. This is the case in the state where I live. I also went through a very traumatic divorce where my ex-husband "framed me" with lies and was intent on putting me away into a mental hospital, although we almost never had any kind of verbal disagreements whatsoever. His reason! His reasoning, by his own confession, was that he could put me away and get every thing. So, I had to flee but with time, I was able to get a cheaper lawyer, while he bought the most expensive one. Yet, I still got half of all possessions; and he could only get half, even though he dragged the case on for nearly three years. I tell you to find a job, however menial and persevere. Do not give up and do not try to get even. Given time, your situation will level out if you are intent on doing the right thing. Do not try to take matters into your own hands; for you will fail. Remember the Most HIgh God, our Blessed Saviour; for He is the One, who stood beside me when many fled from me. Draw close to Him and He will heal your hurts. He will soothe your wounds. sending you much love, linda newkirk, http://www.prophecies.org

PS If you need prayer, contact me. Our Mighty King is still giving out miracles.

Anonymous said...

"The abusiveness of your supporters' comments demonstrates to me that the man really was guilty" — some fool

I suppose the lawyers all know that the legal systems in the US have degenerated to a point where justice is merely an unusual accident. The new "family protection" laws are a typical manifestation. I was once faced with a "restraining order" when my girlfriend had a seizure, fell down, and injured her head badly, but fortunately, not permanently. This young, physically imposing, but dangerously delusional police officer (many are) decided I had bashed her, even though she had not seen me do anything, and convinced her to file. Two days later she realized that the narrative they were feeding her made no sense, and she dropped the filing. She has since had several seizures, sometimes with me catching her as she falls. She never remembers these incidents. Had I been given the restraining order, I would have lost my apartment next door (it is inside the distance stated in the order), and I and my dog would have been homeless (my girlfriend was not aware of this). Of course, the 'old normal' approach to this would be to give me a regular court trial for assault, which would have provided some chance of justice. But now we have so many forms of ersatz justice...

This phenomenon does not just affect men. I have a close friend who actually raised her daughter's little boy while said daughter went to a university to obtain a social worker's license. After she got her diploma and social worker's license, she married a prison guard and began working at the prison as a "counselor" herself. Her husband then staged a phony argument and "disturbance" with my friend, and her daughter promptly got a retaining order against my friend so she can never come near the grandson she raised again.

The reality is that our society has erected a gigantic restraining order industry, with lawyers, counselors, administrators, advocates, etc, and this industry has developed a cancerous propensity for self-advocacy.

I would go to Mexico if possible. The alimony thing will not work. It's a treadmill that takes you nowhere, and quite often does nothing at all for children. Try to get to Guanajuato. Maybe you can make money by computer hacking or some relatively victim-less crime. Whatever. There are several sites on the Internet for people with false restraining orders, and some of those are scams themselves!

Anonymous said...

"The abusiveness of your supporters' comments demonstrates to me that the man really was guilty" — some fool

I suppose the lawyers all know that the legal systems in the US have degenerated to a point where justice is merely an unusual accident. The new "family protection" laws are a typical manifestation. I was once faced with a "restraining order" when my girlfriend had a seizure, fell down, and injured her head badly, but fortunately, not permanently. This young, physically imposing, but dangerously delusional police officer (many are) decided I had bashed her, even though she had not seen me do anything, and convinced her to file. Two days later she realized that the narrative they were feeding her made no sense, and she dropped the filing. She has since had several seizures, sometimes with me catching her as she falls. She never remembers these incidents. Had I been given the restraining order, I would have lost my apartment next door (it is inside the distance stated in the order), and I and my dog would have been homeless (my girlfriend was not aware of this). Of course, the 'old normal' approach to this would be to give me a regular court trial for assault, which would have provided some chance of justice. But now we have so many forms of ersatz justice...

Anonymous said...

...This phenomenon does not just affect men. I have a close friend who actually raised her daughter's little boy while said daughter went to a university to obtain a social worker's license. After she got her diploma and social worker's license, she married a prison guard and began working at the prison as a "counselor" herself. Her husband then staged a phony argument and "disturbance" with my friend, and her daughter promptly got a retaining order against my friend so she can never come near the grandson she raised again.

The reality is that our society has erected a gigantic restraining order industry, with lawyers, counselors, administrators, advocates, etc, and this industry has developed a cancerous propensity for self-advocacy.

I would go to Mexico if possible. The alimony thing will not work. It's a treadmill that takes you nowhere, and quite often does nothing at all for children. Try to get to Guanajuato. Maybe you can make money by computer hacking or some relatively victim-less crime. Whatever. There a re several sites on the Internet for people with false restraining orders, and some of those are scams themselves!

Anonymous said...

The problem here is the system making severely life altering (in a most negative way)judgments upon people that they really know nothing about. Domestic situations are, at best, extremely complex. This is not a man vs. woman thing. My partner of 11 years (a man) decided that he would like to screw someone else, and was coached into how exactly to work the system. He called CPS on me, gave them a picture from a year ago featuring my son with a bruise on his face (which he got from playing), and told them that I was abusing him. Well, they believed him, even though he had no other "evidence". He told me that he had been planning this for a year, and he was happy that he "had my ass over a barrel". Oh yes, and he had to wait a year to do anything after his DV incident in which HE called the cops on himself! Court mandated counseling doesn't work folks. Sometimes people are just aholes.

philip inuhoff said...

To the anonopussy at 4:35am... finding someone guilty based on what random, anon. internet posters say is weird and disgusting. It reeks of Nazism. That would mean your hero Obama is a racist and hates America, right.. Rev. Wright??

Do you work for SEIU or prison guards union?

As for the rest of the drivel you posted, I can only say, congratulations, you stud.


what a fag.

Anonymous said...

If you owe any kind of child support, you will not be allowed a passport! System is very rigged!! You can try to get one, but I think you'll be out of luck to leave the country until she is 18? By then there will be a whole host of other repressive laws! The Beast Power does not want us to escape!

Pie said...

Advice to flee the jurisdiction is quite correct. Children and Family Services and the Family Court System are impossible to fight without resources. They take sides based on recommendations of over worked and under trained case workers. The usual ingrained mantra is "guilty until proven innocent, as if..." I work very closely with these agencies, always thought I was fighting for the kid, trying to help improve the family situation, solve some problems and encourage stability. I have seen families torn apart for nothing more than a rumour based on an 11 year olds idea of why her friend didn't come to her birthday party. Concerned parents, teachers, neighbors should get involved, but the problem is the government agency has no sense of discernment and will contrive to make something look incriminating if only to justify the time spent and money needed to pay their workers. Targets have ranged from home schooling parents to working, single moms to stable,commited but unmarried care givers. This is, I believe, the result of the injection of christian religious moral values into government policy. So, flee the jurisdiction at any sign of agency interference. You will not be able to prove to Family Court that their accusations and findings are incorrect.

Anonymous said...

To "Douchebags" and "cunts" ?:

You are a narcissistic bitch.
How dare you act like a victim with your moral outrage.

You're this stupid cunt who can't recognize a dangerous person. You're too daft to protect yourself from her. You're such a douchebag that she utters threats in front of the cops probably knowing she'll get in deep trouble.

Then you come here insulting a guy who is HELPING, and acting like the hurt needs to justify themselves to YOU. If you have nothing good to say then shut up and go away.

I bet no one except for jackbooted thugs helped you. You whine like a desexed, neutered, coward who cannot relate to people who express healthy anger, outrage, and support.

I hope your girlfriend gets out soon.

Quiact said...

Blog author here. First, I really appreciate what all of you have commented. However, I'd like to politely ask that you refrain from what is universally considered foul language. I've had enough anger in my life, and I speculate others have as well. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Dan, join the saddest and most populous club in America. Your story sounds almost exactly like mine 20 years ago. I was a great dad, lived with a woman diagnosed as a sociopath who pounded on me like a drum. She couldn't hurt anything more than my feelings doing that, and I never struck her back.

But one night on 20/20 they had a story about a woman who accused her husband to get her kids.As she watched it she made the comment she could tell the woman was lying.

A few weeks later I found out she had been cheating on me for 10 years. The next morning while I was at work, she took my kid, filed a restraining order and travelled all over north america to keep from being found for a year.

The court gave her the kid who I seldom saw, thanks to her manipulation of him, and now he has had repeated trips in and out of jail, and does nothing but eat and sleep and goof off.

Hang in there.

Anonymous said...

I am currently in Law School and am dumbfounded at this bit of legal dissonance: A woman can unilaterally choose wether she wants to kill my unborn child, OR she can decided to keep me on the financial hook for the next 18 years paying child support. This is a gross violation of the equal protection clause of the Constitution.

Go North said...

A lot of Americans have defected to BC, which is largely uninhabited.

I know. I live there.

Anonymous said...

Notice how little men "publish" (as in spread the word) about the truth of these matters to other men - you just don't hear it in maistream communications. Many know about it but are tight lipped to share their wisdom and/or the voice of life expreiences.

And when their (the wise veterans of family law hell) personal nightmares are over, guess what, do they help others? Over and over I've seen that don't. And so the "fresh meat" men going through this start from ground zero: thinking the system is fair, it's all a mistake that will be cleared up, etc. It may but for God's sake, don't count on it...

One last suggestion? Keep your health up as best one can, this is often a war of attrition. Living with your health intact is in and of itself a victory. Care do take...

Anonymous said...

The current system allows these travesties and I have been on your end too. The only child I concieved was aborted without my knowledge or consent . I helped her build her enterprise dream by working sun up to sundown. She would not relocate with me on my many military assignments so the business could continue. I would live in barracks on $20.00 a month doing odd jobs and working nights to make up for giving all my time and money in trust to her to further her dream.After years of this,suddenly it was over. While absent,she transferred all asssets elsewhere,tried to enlist friends to lie, made a false DM violence charge and had me kicked out.The Fed. Gov helped her pin me to the wall and destroyed my life with double jeopardy. Yes! there's two sides. Yes! this does happen. Yes!I'm the Christmas goose. Yes! I chose her. Yes!I vote. I'm also now a tireless opportunistic destroyer of this awful sYstem and would rether take my chance in hell than watch this continue.Some situations are worse than others but are all condoned by those who syphone off of our lives when we can do little to nothing. I don't give a crap about any uninformed opinions and you certainly won't change my outlook on this monster.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Jim Bailey - JimBWarrior - HandsOnEqualParent said...

Dan, Stay Strong my friend - Thanks for joining our New Zealand based group and commenting further on your story which is all to familiar here in Godzown - Onward - Together-4-FAMILY - www.rationshed.wordpress.com - Jim

Apple Roof Cleaning Tampa Florida said...

Dan, a similar thing happened to me!
I too made a blog called http://www.restrainingorderblog.com
that is dedicated to our cause! I am following you on this blog, since I learned about it!
Chris

Bill Stoneking said...

Dan, hang in there. Log your information, make it public. My ex attempted all yours has and more and although she retained custody when she should be in prison, I am in my daughter's life and her time when she is with me is a memorable and fun adventure.

Do not bow to the system. Stuart telling you to flee the jurisdiction? That is improper advise. Make and keep the case public, use social media, blogs, etc. Start penning a book and self publish if necessary.

Stand the fight. Adopt a "Chicago Way" mentality and wear that with a white hat.

Anonymous said...

Dan,
I am in the same boat as you 9 months into a divorce and I am beat down... Financialy,mentaly and phycicaly beat, lost everything. my wieght is down 40lbs can't eat, I havn't seen my children. She has lied, For christ sakes she implied I tried to rape her! I should have stopped that restraining order hearing right there and had it moved up into criminal court. There she would need proof which of course there would be none because it didn't happen. She hit me with a car, threw keys at my face, killed my dog, drugged our child all this can be proven but like some past post said the system does not care. You look like the angry ex-husband for trying to bring this to light. I have walked away its not in the best interest of my children to be locked up. Thank God I have avoided that so far.. I'm petrified at what I have been through. Im broke no more money so what do I do? Take a break and just watch her self destruction.. I don't want revenge Im over that I look at her like a very sick person.

Pet Vitamins said...

I know this sounds bad but what happens if you decided to give up your parental rights in court?

If I am not mistaken, by giving up your rights, you will no longer have an obligation to pay child support.

I read this:

"In most cases, when a father chooses to give up his parental rights, he is completely released from any obligation to care for his biological child. Under the eyes of the law, the biological father and child are not related. The child may not inherit under the father's will as one of his children, and the father has no obligation whatsoever to care for the child.

Read more: Giving Up a Father's Parental Rights | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_4607235_giving-up-father_s-parental-rights.html#ixzz14yfdiqOF"

Save all the paperwork and when your daughter grows up SHOW her what a vindictive woman her mother was and your only out was to give up parental rights.

Quiact said...

I was forced to give up my parental rights. My ex wife divorced me in April- I could not attend court for that, since there are warrants for my arrest in Missouri, related to what my ex wife did to me. My ex wife got by force sole custody of my daughter Hayley. Anytime I see her, I have to pay child protective services to be there during my visit with her.

Donna Gray-Davis, B.C.P.C. said...

There is, somewhere in the Holy Bible, a characterization of Evil as a lion that stalks the earth, seeking to destroy those who are good~~those who believe in and follow, Christ, in particular. When we see destruction of this sort it is difficult to believe, if we believed the idea at first. But being difficult to believe does not take away the debris that is falling from the tatters of the former lives of the growled upon and shredded. We are, advised C.S. Lewis, not bodies that have souls; but, souls that have bodies. Make sense? In terms of restoration?
Resilience and Restoration. Powerful words. Powerful processes. "In-Spite-Of" processes = processes that take place "In-Spite-Of" that evil that can and does roam... I have nothing more to say. I am a board certified professional counselor who works on LivePerson.com, http://is.gd/k8H3 . My mission is to channel healing encouragement of the Holy Spirit. For evil cannot ultimately win.

Anonymous said...

Men ( I am also a man) , the writing is on the wall, here. Listen VERY carefully: DO NOT GET A WOMAN PREGNANT. STOP having children.

It is your own, base lack of self control that is creating this problem and FEEDING the fascists who suck you into the vortex. Learn to be more spiritual. Learn to be exceptionally discrimination with the women you give your time to. Most of them are not worth your time, if you are a truly good man. If you are not a good man, then, whatever happens to you is what you deserve.

Those of us who are spiritually whole are beginning to see the cold, hard reality: The world is overpopulated and humans are at their wits end. Everybody is now a parasite because there are insufficient resources to support the population.

STOP!

1.Seek spiritual enlightenment

2.Learn to recognize those who can join you

3. Become less dependant on base gratification and EARN your manhood.

4. STOP getting women pregnant.

If this seems stupid to you, you are part of the problem.

Anonymous said...

To the person who think's sharia law is the answer is just down right evil hearted. Take a look at what happened to Sarah and Amina Said. THEIR OWN DADDY honor killed them. Sharia law kills your women folk and that means sisters,mothers,cousins and aunts. That is so stupid. There are women who get the short end time and time again. Stop having a pity party. If you had a daughter living under sharia law she would be living a hell of a life and would be stoned to death for a crime that men get away with. You men that bitch about women-why havent you given your life to Jesus and ask him to give you a good woman? First you have to be a good man. I dont believe all these stories. Also woman have suffered the same thing.

Nicolas Iellimo said...

The system is corrupted Layers control the system.

You can check my case below the reason i show this is because its all base to lies ,absolutely nothing she says its truth. and i lost also the appeal. three judges all corrupted.


mhttp://law.justia.com/cases/new-jersey/appellate-division-unpublished/2009/a1138-07-opn.htl