Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dear Hayley: My Trip

This is a letter I wrote my daughter Hayley, after another warrant was issued for my arrest due to her mother in the state of Missouri, and her free legal team's desire to keep me incarcerated. The warrant is again for violating the restraining order issued against me by her mother. I did nothing to fracture this bogus order against me. The letter was composed by me during my bus trip down to Atlanta Georgia:

Dear Hayley,

I'm on a trip right now, Hayley. Others want to put me in jail again- even though I've done nothing wrong. So I'm leaving today to move to another state. It's my hope to start my life over again where I move.

And I still miss you greatly, Hayley. I miss hugging you and talking to you. And I will see you when I can, I promise.

It is likely you are now as tall as me now, I bet. You are a very beautiful girl. You are as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside, Hayley.

Please tell me about school sometime. I love when you write to me about school, and the friends you have as well. I'd also like you to write about how you are feeling these days.

I've been feeling OK, I guess. I'm still trying to figure out how to live my life without my family. This is very hard for me to do. I still do not understand at all why we are not together anymore. What is important to me now is that you know I love you very much.

I'm taking a bus where I am going right now, Hayley. This is my first time taking a bus for a long trip. This should be relaxing for me since I do not have to drive myself. I'll be going through 4 states throughout the night tonight.

I'm going to go see one I completely trust- one girl in particular. This girl is very good for my soul- she cares about me very much. I'm looking foward to seeing her, and spending time with her.

She will also help me start my life over again with her. Yet I do not know if I will ever be really happy again. I can only hope I will be happy again.

More importantly, I hope you are happy. You have been through a lot lately, Hayley. Yet you are also very strong, so I'm sure you are just fine. I hope you are healthy, and you have a lot of great friends, and those who care very much about you.

It's rainy and cold outside right now, Hayley. I wish we were in our old living room reading and writing together quietly. I love it when you and I have done this together in the past.

Our bus has now stopped in mount vernon, IL at a mcDonalds place. I'm not hungry, but I did get some coffee here. It is still cloudy and rainy outside, but it's not too cold now.

There is a girl sitting behind me on the bus who is not much older than you. She is talking to her boyfriend on the phone ALL THE TIME. She is from Alabama, and is getting ready to move to Florida. Her accent is really weird. There is also another lady on the bus here with me who is snoring right now.

It is always best to treat other people as you want to be treated, Hayley. When another person treats you bad, it really hurts sometimes. When this happens to a person, that person may decide to treat others as they were treated.

This is not the right thing to do to another person. Always strive to be better than many other people who are mean, Hayley. Our world needs more people like you.

I've decided I really like riding on this bus, Hayley. I like watching outside the window all the time as the bus moves. And I love writing you as I travel right now. It's kinda tough to write you if I'm actually driving, you know?

The bus driver is a very nice older lady that sings as she drives. She is a much better driver than your dad. Right now, we just stopped at a bus station in Evansville, Indiana. We'll be leaving here pretty soon.

It's also very dark outside right now. It's very peaceful to me as the bus cruises down the highway when it is dark outside.

I find it very easy to write to you, Hayley. Ever since you were born, I've always talked to you, and made you laugh. So it is good that I can continue to talk to you as a pen pal now.

So I have saved the letters you wrote to me not long ago, Hayley. And I've shared them with the world. I'm very glad I'm pen pals with my daughter.

I really think this bus trip rocks. It is a very quiet bus, and many on this bus continue to sleep. Your dad does not sleep much these days. I continue to watch it rain as I write to you. And there are about 25 people on the bus with me right now. It will get more crowded as we pick up others to ride on this bus.

I've enjoyed writing to you, and I will again. You take care, and take it easy,


1 comment:

Donna Gray-Davis, B.C.P.C. said...

Our Creator created us for our Creator's company, and though we must grieve when our human connections are frayed, is still there for us with total continuing affirmation and guidance and care. You are strong, very strong. I believe after you survive, that you will also heal, and that you will be happy, again. DGD