The following was composed by me after my daughter's mother placed me in jail due to false accuastions of abusing her mother. A restraining order issued against me prevents me from seeing or speaking with my daughter presently:
Since I'm unable to send you letters right now in the mail, I've decided to write you anyway. What I do write to you I will give you in time, I promise.
I also write often about you, Hayley. I write about my thoughts and feelings I have- and how thankful I am that you are in my life. This life. When I do write about you, I share this with others. These others care about you as well- quite a bit.
Your dad likes to shout from the rooftop of the world when he writes. When I write about you, I acquire the words I write solely from my heart. So when I'm on this rooftop when I do write about you, I whisper in silence- which is the peace in my heart.
Yet others hear my whispers quite deeply at times- and quite clearly. As a result, I'll continue to retrieve these words to you within me.
Let's see....we will start when you were born. You clearly did not want to come out of mom just yet, although you were due a week before you were born. So you were ready to be born, but were apparently a bit too comfortable inside Mom.
Yet mom certainly would be more comfortable at that time if you were finally born, so it happened finally after 17 hours of sheer bliss experienced by Mom.
And you were wide awake when you were born, Hayley, and this is the only way to be in life. This was very cool for your dad to see you this way seconds after you were born. You were very ready to start living your life right after getting born. I enjoyed seeing you this way then as I do now.
Mom was a bit sore after delivering you, so I got to hang out with you a lot after you were born. We would go out on the back deck of our house very early in the morning and listen to the birds as we would watch them fly at times. And I have not stopped enjoying spending time with you ever since then.
Then, after 4 months, I experienced the best feeling in the world. I made you laugh.
I continued to make you laugh after that moment. This was very easy for me to do. I absolutely love to see you smile. Whenever I may be having a bad day, I'd come home and see you. At that point, I was no longer having a bad day.
Also, I use to drink a lot of adult beverages before you were born. I stopped doing this soon after you came into my life. I no longer needed to poison myself with such drinks.
When I drank, I was not myself at all, and I wanted and needed to be myself around you. I'm very happy I am myself around you and with you always. Quite simply, your dad rocks.
You always watch what I do, I learned quickly. So your dad is a fairly nice guy. I'll often hold the door for another. I always say 'please', and 'thank you', to others I speak with often. I always try and help others that need help.
You watched when I would do such things. As a result, you do these same things for others. You are very polite and kind, Hayley. I could not ask for anything else.
I love you very much,